


In Her Eyes

by JennLynn77



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-08-21 20:57:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8260285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennLynn77/pseuds/JennLynn77
Summary: "You lied to me." she bluntly stated through gritted teeth and a furrowed brow. The steely cold delivery of her words piercing me. Story told from House's POV





	

**Author's Note:**

> There is a song by Josh Groban, called "In Her Eyes", and every time I hear it, I think about how appropriate it is for House and Cameron!  
> The story is a bit OOC for House, but as I've always maintained, he will have to be OOC for him to be with anyone! Why not with Cameron?

"You lied to me." she bluntly stated through gritted teeth and a furrowed brow. The steely cold delivery of her words piercing me.

I stepped back from her, almost recoiled at her words. How could she think I lied to her?

"I have never LIED to you. Ever. About anything."

"You may never have spoken the words, but your eyes lie. They lie to me all the time."

What the hell was she talking about?

She sensed my confusion. She knew how hard it was for me to talk about things like this. So she continued, and I dared not interrupt her.

"Every time you look at me, I feel I am being consciously misled. How can you play with me the way you do?"

I tilted my head, as if that would give me an ounce of her perspective.

"How can you look at me the way you do, and then treat me this way?"

She approached me, hands clenching into tiny fists. As she stepped towards me, I could see her cheeks flush to a light shade of crimson. If this had been the right time, I would have told her how amazing she looked when she was mad at me. Part of why I do what I do is so I can get her like this. It helps to ease the sexual tension in the air. A fight is a surrogate for sex. God forbid I act like a human being and act on my feelings for her. Tell her how much I want to cradle her in my arms and tell her how much I love her. Need her. Want her with me always...

I swallowed hard as the space between us dwindled. I could see the anger in her eyes as she approached. This was different than any other time before. I apprehensively bit my lower lip and dropped my gaze to the floor. She had always had this uncanny ability to make me feel like sh!t when I pissed her off, which, unfortunately, was far too often. I don't know why I do the things I do, especially to those I love. I do it to Wilson, I do it to Cuddy. And I do it to her. These are the people who care for me, and all I do is push them until they can't take me or my crap anymore, and I'm alone again. Like I feel I should be.

I looked back up at her and immediately regretted it.

Her green eyes. They are my undoing.

Especially when they are welled with tears.

"I can't believe I fall for it, again and again and again. Like some love-starved puppy."

"You really must think I'm an idiot. A softhearted, weak, fool."

'My God, I could never think that of you.' I hear myself say from behind a shadow in my mind. But why can't I make the words come out? Tell her how much I love her? I shake my head no, but no words escaped my lips.

"From day one, I always thought my feelings for you were reciprocated. I always thought you were just so jaded from whatever past you want so desperately to cloak yourself in forever, and hide the details of which from me, that I was blinded by what I wanted to see."

"Well, I can see clearly now. Suddenly, the clouds have lifted, and all doubt has been erased. Never has your silence been more deafening, or more informative." 

I felt my left arm raise, to tame the tendril of hair that curled into her eyes. I gripped my cane as if my life depended on it.

She stepped back.

She had never done that before. I felt sick to my stomach.

"Don't touch me." she sneered at me venomously.

"I'm done. I'm done waiting for you to tell me you care. Hoping one day that you would let the darkness of your past be illuminated by my love for you. You don't believe anyone can love you. I do, House. I. Love. You."

I stood there, knuckles turning white around the handle of my cane and I felt my knees go weak. I took a step back and felt the wall of my office. I leaned back, knowing if I depended on my cane any longer, I would no longer be able to stand. As she spoke, I felt myself sliding down the wall, reaching the floor with a dull thud, cane still grasped tightly in my hand.

She lifted her hand and gestured between us as she spoke.

"How am I supposed to stand here, day after lonely day, seeing how you look at me? How can I not be moved by all of this."

She watched me as I drifted to the floor, never wavering in her determination. She wanted me to hear her. And I could do nothing more than listen. No one had ever spoken so many truths to me. Every word tumbling from her trembling lips were true.

"It's like you let me get close, and then you realize what's happening. Your defenses momentarily crack, and I get a glimpse of you, the man you try to shield from the world. A world that has obviously wronged you. The man I see, especially when you look at me the way you so often do, makes me believe there is hope for you. Hope there could be an 'us' someday. Then, as quickly as he would appear, he would be gone. Replaced by the cold, manipulative, condescending shell of a human being you turn yourself into when you feel yourself becoming vulnerable."

I curled my left leg under myself, almost turning towards the wall, getting as close to a fetal position as I could. No one had ever been more accurate in their perception of me. No one had ever cared enough to call me on it like this before.

As soon as she noticed my new position on the floor, her face softened. She looked skyward, appearing to be saying a silent prayer for strength.

She slowly lowered herself to the floor, and sat across from me.

She adjusted herself on the floor, ankles crossed, and just looked at me. Truthfully, she looked through me. No one else I've ever known had been able to pierce me with their eyes like her. Her penetrating gaze enervated, causing my defenses to do the same. Why did the simplest look from her do this to me?

I turned from the wall and faced her, and finally let the truth tumble from my mouth.

"When I am with you, sometimes I forget to be afraid." I blurted against my own wishes.

Her eyes narrowed with incredulity.

"What are you talking about? You forget to be afraid?"

I knew by the tone in her voice that she was no longer angry with me. She tried, brave soul that she was, to pretend that she was still mad at me. The look in her eyes told me otherwise. She was no longer able to hide behind her guise anymore than I was.

"My whole life has been about people leaving me. Me trusting them to not hurt me. People who are supposed to take care of you. People who tell you they love you. And then all they do is hurt you. My father, Stacy, and countless others before them. Trust betrayed, heart broken. Walls rebuilt, trust never given away again. Heart strings left severed. I am unable to get close to people. I've been seared too many times to go there again."

I stopped and took a breath.

"But when I look at you the way I do, and see how you look at me, I can actually see myself letting go of some of the things I have clung to for so long."

She scooted closer to me, sliding across the rough carpet of my office. She leaned over her legs and placed her palms on my knees.

"I hope you know that you have nothing to fear when it comes to me. You never have, and I promise you, you never will. You will never have to worry about me leaving you or betraying you. I have no intentions on trying to change you. I only want to change your perceptions. Not just of me, but of yourself. You have no idea what I see when I look at you, do you?" 

I shook my head no and she continued.

"I see a man who wants to trust, wants to love, and be loved in return. I want to be the woman you turn to when you feel unloved, doubted and troubled. I want to be the one to show you how amazing you are."

"All I need from you, is a promise."

I raised an eyebrow at her, my skepticism threatening to return.

"I need you to promise me that you will tell me things. Things that will help me understand you better, to understand us better. I need you to tell me what you're feeling, good or bad."

"It's now or never, House."

She squeezed my left knee gently, and smiled. 

From that moment, I knew that anytime I looked in her eyes, my heart would always be home.


End file.
